As I have mentioned an ungodly number of times on this blog, I am a walking ball of anxiety. And it affects so many parts of my life, especially because I've gone so long without actively working to fix it (2 decades basically). One of the aspects of my life that got hit the hardest was my relationship with God. I've always been apart of the church. I was a churchgoer and an active participant within the church for basically my entire life. And then I stopped. I let life and moving away from home for college affect my relationship with God. And in doing so I eventually developed intense anxiety surrounding going to church and sometimes even being around other Christians. This honestly has to be a joke because I live with a Jamaican grown, born-again Christian woman for a mother. Imagine going through a crisis of faith for years and a mom who cannot understand how you went from a regular and active churchgoer to barely having gone to church in years. Shit goes from peacefu...
So, hey. I know, this isn't consistent. I would say I'm working on that but that would be a lie. This is why we have the whole Instagram thing. You follow and interact there and here. So where one is slacking the other catches. "But Pandora, you don't post regularly on there." HA, a bald-faced lie. Ya girl just saw THE Queen of the Dancehall, Spice at the Bayfest concert held at the beautiful Biscayne Bay campus of FIU ' GO PANTHERS, RAW' and lost my whole entire voice. What a Queen, what a performance. You know who else was there, Harmonik. For all the Kompa fans in the building. My homies from Ayiti were KILLING it on the dancefloor. Showing the good folks how to Kompa and have fun. Guess who else was being a baller, Harmonik's guitarist. Good sir was catching that good good Kompa whine AND playing the guitar. ' Yes, you read that right.' I was out there attempting my lil' 1, 2 Kompa steps. That whole set was such fun man, a WHOLE...
I am fiercely and powerfully overwhelmed by life right now. Everything seems to be sitting on me and it is getting to be rather draining. So instead of complaining about it, I am going to make a list of ways that I try and relieve some of that pressure. 1. Praying and Reading the Bible This one is a little more specific to me and my spiritual background. In the past, I have found most of the times I have been at true peace and calm, have been the times I am my closest to the Lord and my spirituality. Lately, I've drifted away and I really want to to use this year to get back to that place of peace and understanding. 2. Write I have never considered myself a writer. Writing is a release for me. When my thoughts get too bottled up, my feelings have gotten a little too hard to handle and I'm not comfortable sharing it with the world around me; I write. I have notebooks for days with random stories, that are partly fiction wrapped up in my hopes and dreams....
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