The Rule not The Exception
I have amazing and wonderful friendships. Such wonderful friends who I'm immensely grateful for and have built such strong bonds and lasting memories.
I ain't never recreated that in a romantic relationship.
Like never.
I have attempted and tried to start that bond. Cause gahdamn I truly and honestly would love to have these feelings and experiences recreated romantically.
I would love to housecat with my romantic partner. I want to have musical experiences with someone I love. I dream of adventures with someone who loves and appreciates me for who I am.
Unfortunately, that requires settling for a whole lot less than I deserve. And I ain't never in this eternity planning to do that. Wah me look like claffy!?
My experience with dating apps literally, confirmed a long-time suspicion that I have been the rule in my dating experience and not the exception. What makes this such a sucky ass feeling is that I am an exceptional ass person with a lot of love to give. It also isn't fun when the majority of your friends are in seemingly loving, dedicated and hard-working relationships. Yet here I am, fielding dudes who are trying to get laid, dudes who can't and clearly refuse to hold adult conversations with me, dudes who clearly are trying who knows what, I could go on but I'm getting highly irritated.
And for a long time, I thought the actions of a lot of these folks on these apps were my own fault. I changed my communication styles, I attempted to be open to hooking up, I let them control how I reacted. I did everything that allowed others to control how I presented myself because I swore I was doing something wrong. When honestly all I wanted was the opportunity to go out and experience the world and just maybe meet someone who thought that the person I was at that given moment was special.
After a while trying to be all things for every single person gets tiring. It gets draining when your desires, expectations, and even basic dating standards are barely met. Eventually, you get to a place where you'd rather be all alone in a room full of couples than subjecting yourself to another conversation where some guy thinks talking down to you will make you enamored of him.
Eventually, I began to see that at this stage of life, I'm probably meant to focus on anything but romance and I've made my peace with that. I've gotten my mental health on track, I'm working on myself financially and soon I'll start the physical side of my growth. For now, I'm okay with being the rule.
I ain't never recreated that in a romantic relationship.
Like never.
I have attempted and tried to start that bond. Cause gahdamn I truly and honestly would love to have these feelings and experiences recreated romantically.
I would love to housecat with my romantic partner. I want to have musical experiences with someone I love. I dream of adventures with someone who loves and appreciates me for who I am.
Unfortunately, that requires settling for a whole lot less than I deserve. And I ain't never in this eternity planning to do that. Wah me look like claffy!?My experience with dating apps literally, confirmed a long-time suspicion that I have been the rule in my dating experience and not the exception. What makes this such a sucky ass feeling is that I am an exceptional ass person with a lot of love to give. It also isn't fun when the majority of your friends are in seemingly loving, dedicated and hard-working relationships. Yet here I am, fielding dudes who are trying to get laid, dudes who can't and clearly refuse to hold adult conversations with me, dudes who clearly are trying who knows what, I could go on but I'm getting highly irritated.
And for a long time, I thought the actions of a lot of these folks on these apps were my own fault. I changed my communication styles, I attempted to be open to hooking up, I let them control how I reacted. I did everything that allowed others to control how I presented myself because I swore I was doing something wrong. When honestly all I wanted was the opportunity to go out and experience the world and just maybe meet someone who thought that the person I was at that given moment was special.
After a while trying to be all things for every single person gets tiring. It gets draining when your desires, expectations, and even basic dating standards are barely met. Eventually, you get to a place where you'd rather be all alone in a room full of couples than subjecting yourself to another conversation where some guy thinks talking down to you will make you enamored of him.
Eventually, I began to see that at this stage of life, I'm probably meant to focus on anything but romance and I've made my peace with that. I've gotten my mental health on track, I'm working on myself financially and soon I'll start the physical side of my growth. For now, I'm okay with being the rule.
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