Pandora's Anxious Adventure

I am, have been and will always be of the mindset, that everything a person does or says has consequences. This is simply how I was raised. And with my life-long anxiety being a thing, ya girl has a tendency to latch on to things and form minor obsessions on these things. Sometimes this is from trauma bonding, sometimes it ain't. But that's a more of a conversation to develop upon with my therapist. What I am here to talk about is how a lot of folks in this day and age, can and will get they feelings hurt and be embarrassed by me and the public not living by the belief that they shit can and will always come back to bite them. So because I've latched on to these beliefs in life I have had the wonderful experience of having my long-dormant and better-managed anger resurface over the past few years, especially in a post-2016 election world. I done had my consequences catch up to me, with regards to my anger before, so now I'm much more cognizant of the words I speak.

Lemme tell y'all, folks, something. I am a future hot gyal. Right now I am in training. I started my hot gyal training slightly late, but don't discount me.  Musically I am a true hot gyal. An older one, who got bad knees, but a hot gyal none the less. The current issue is that my training is currently in a suspended space because of the 'Rona. But lemme tell y'all 2020 was gonna be my year. I was gonna be traveling more, my fitness journey would have been more situated and I was looking the part. It's a couple bits and pieces that would be forever missing cause honestly, me nuh have too much patience for tomfoolery and shenanigans. But I was working my way towards being a true hot gyal by the end of 2020. Unfortunately, a slight global pandemic has put a full halt to those plans. So for now, ya girl is a musically based hot gyal, and here are some playlists for y'all.

Having watched this most recent installment/episode of Red Table Talk and seeing how my social spaces have been interacting with all the information regarding the situation. I had a few core thoughts to get off my chest: What Jada did with August is fucked. Make no mistake. A part of me wanted to call it predatory but then I sat and thought about all the relationships I've seen and talk folks through the years, this shit ain't new. I’ve seen friends do this in their own interpersonal relationships. They’ll believe they are open to getting to know new people after ending things either amicably or even after a volatile ending, either one. But they never fully deal with the healing process of ending the previous relationship, not professionally. And in the process meet folks, they’ll be interested but not that interested. Enjoy their company but in the back of their mind wait for a new opportunity with the previous person. And issa a lot of folks (man, woman and bby non-binaries)

Hahahahaha, it’s been a minute. The world is catching up to what most black folks already knew and we’re still HIGH KEY dealing with a world pandemic but also pretending everything is fine. Basically, the world is dealing with its shit the way I deal with my shit. Avoidance. But we not here to talk about the world. We here to talk about me and how I’m coping. And my response to that is....I’m not. I am not dealing well. I actually had to up my dosage on my anti-depressants and most definitely had a full-blown anxiety attack the week before I went back to working in an office. And if I’m being honest. I’m tired. But the bright side is I’m not worn out. I feel like there is a lil light somewhere in this. I won’t call it the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is a light I needed. So the positives, happy things are happening in the lives of some of my close friends. I have been able to spend some time with friends recently. I’m back to having a separated home and workspace. P

Let us take a moment to remember all the quarantine snacks that barely made it to quarantine.  And we're back Why y'all ain't tell me being on ADHD meds will have you eating like a bird. I can barely clear a plate, let alone buss it down properly on major holidays. I only cleared one plate this Christmas and I am HURT. Look I get that ya girl shouldn't be vacuuming down food like I'm Kirby or some shit, but can I not feel spectacular off about eating. I've gone from a decent appetite to literally a non-existent appetite. And while this is great for the gut getting skinny, I don't particularly think it's the healthiest approach. Do not get me wrong, I love that I have slightly more control over the amount of food I intake but I don't think to go almost24 hours on snacks and cereal is great for becoming a Grade-A snack. Probably being slightly over-stressed about work over the past few months and more recently being stuck at home with th

Happy Sunday my lil' anxious peeps. How we all doing? Been a minute since I let y'all know what I've been reading. Figured I catch y'all up a lil. Lately, I've been a bit of an unfocused funk. It's been hard to hop up into a book and finish it. So it's been a lot of books on my To Be Read list, a list that just keeps growing. But I have been able to clear a bunch of comics. So I'm just gonna share some of my favourites that I have read, been reading, need to catch up on, or want to read. Plus it's I have them spread across platforms. So let's hop into it. Let's start it off with my OG comic platform WEBTOON by Line. They have so many options. Initially, it was more of a platform for your creatives but lately, they've been creating original comics and alongside the uploads. They pull from that discover pool sometimes and offer a great platform for upcoming comic artists and storytellers. So without delay here are some of my com