Anxiety Chronicles

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Having Faith

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As I have mentioned an ungodly number of times on this blog, I am a walking ball of anxiety. And it affects so many parts of my life, especially because I've gone so long without actively working to fix it (2 decades basically). One of the aspects of my life that got hit the hardest was my relationship with God. I've always been apart of the church. I was a churchgoer and an active participant within the church for basically my entire life. And then I stopped. I let life and moving away from home for college affect my relationship with God. And in doing so I eventually developed intense anxiety surrounding going to church and sometimes even being around other Christians. This honestly has to be a joke because I live with a Jamaican grown, born-again Christian woman for a mother. Imagine going through a crisis of faith for years and a mom who cannot understand how you went from a regular and active churchgoer to barely having gone to church in years. Shit goes from peacefu
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Let Me Explain

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So, hey. I know, this isn't consistent. I would say I'm working on that but that would be a lie. This is why we have the whole Instagram thing. You follow and interact there and here. So where one is slacking the other catches. "But Pandora, you don't post regularly on there." HA, a bald-faced lie. Ya girl just saw THE Queen of the Dancehall, Spice at the Bayfest concert held at the beautiful Biscayne Bay campus of FIU ' GO PANTHERS, RAW' and lost my whole entire voice. What a Queen, what a performance. You know who else was there, Harmonik. For all the Kompa fans in the building. My homies from Ayiti were KILLING it on the dancefloor. Showing the good folks how to Kompa and have fun. Guess who else was being a baller, Harmonik's guitarist. Good sir was catching that good good Kompa whine AND playing the guitar. ' Yes, you read that right.' I was out there attempting my lil' 1, 2 Kompa steps. That whole set was such fun man, a WHOLE
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Happy Valentimes Day, My Sweet Baboushkas

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I have to plan out my Valentine's Day or risk getting super in my feelings. Like I get into a rather depressive yet reflective vibe for a few days, especially in the days leading up to Valentine's Day. So whatever plans I made, have to live up to expectations or that'll dampen my mood for a good week. Then it's just an extended few days after of sad music. Not gonna lie, this day has been an excessively angsty one for me personally, as someone who is perpetually single and tends to be surrounded by many folks in multiple different stages of a relationship each year. I start to fixate on a lot of the things that I view as unfulfilled personal goals of my childhood, the lack of a substantial romantic relationship being the focal point for this particular period of angst. But now that I'm older and wiser though ya girl is high-key not so fixated on being companionless and surrounded by relationships. It helps that I've always had spectacular friends that get
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